Made to burn

The past week I have been awakened to the deep longings in my heart again. More so I have been reminded that often desires remain just that…desires. The ‘ if only’, the ‘what if’ lingering. What if I did this, what if I did that…masked by the fear to just be and just give myself to what I desire. For a while now I have had such a deep insatiable craving for love. I often feel the desire within my being…wanting to feast off the lust of my flesh. Finding myself indulging in false intimacies, films, social media and entertainment. Leaving the longing deeper.

Image by Michael Jehn, source: Flickr.com

Image by Michael Jehn, source: Flickr.com

I long to give myself to love wholeheartedly, just loving on someone or something…fully satisfied by the reciprocation of such love. If only I can find that love in this life…perhaps my future husband will fulfill this craving…or perhaps just one more romantic comedy will help quench this burning inside. Then in one simple moment I am reminded that I am made with these legitimate desires. Made to be like him (made to be loved by Jesus)…to love the way he loves all of humanity. I am made to burn with passion and desire.

‘…For love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave; its flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame…’ (Song of Solomon 8:6)

That is the standard of love and burning desire he set when He was nailed to the cross. Even before then he knew that this was the standard of love he intended for me to experience. Even before the foundations of the earth was laid he desired me…a love that is so insatiable that he was compelled to take on my flesh and suffer public humiliation. He was not willing to settle for less, he was not willing to give me any lesser display of his affections towards me. The desires in his heart moved Him to action…giving his life, counting everything lost because he wanted me…he longed for me..and now for all eternity I will be his inheritance.

So I sit here typing and the realization hits my heart like a hammer and chisel; etching the truth of love in it. The truth that the same Jesus who cried for the cup of suffering to pass him by…cried ‘Father I desire that they  come to know me and know you’. A wholehearted cry for justice and love was greater than the pain and suffering he endured. Living within me, was the closest place he could be until he fully returns for me… entrusting me with his spirit, with his desires. So now I am compelled to love like he does, to burn the way he does. To burn with raging love, a love that compels me to turn my life towards him. To live and love violently, from the fountain within me. Made to live my life differently than this culture of complacency dictates…made to be wholehearted in my lifestyle as his bride. If I am in Christ and Christ within me, I am made to burn.

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. For our God is a consuming fire. (Hebrews 12:28-29)

Perhaps this poem I wrote best ends this blog entry:

Made to burn

Deep within the depths of my soul

Are the dormant desires, to burn

Smouldering longings for something more

Longings to see, feel and be more

 

Desires linger for deep intimacy

A longing for the warmth of your embrace

A yearning to be loved…

A craving to give love

 

These desires smoulder within

When I find myself nearest to you

These passions begin to rage

As you set the seal of fire on my heart

 

You are a consuming fire

You won’t settle for less

You long for me to burn

You long for smoulders to be ignited

 

Smouldering desires

Becoming kindled passions

Kindled passions becoming flaming actions

Flaming actions igniting my life to burn

To burn for you as you burn for me

In your presence I feel the fire

When I am with you I become the fire

So I set you as a seal on my life

As a seal on my heart

Jesus your love is as fierce as the grave

Your love is the most vehement flame

Until you return cause my life to burn

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